Happy Birthday To Me

My birthday came and went like any other day. I'm twenty nine now. Wooo! I spent my birthday in a van (by the river) from Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong. Chiang Khong is the Thai border town opposite the Laotian border town of Huay Xia. The Mekong is the natural border that separates the two towns.

I was hanging out with Harold and Amelie from Paris and having beers. Other than that it wasn't much of a birthday celebration. The twenty eight other ones made up for it.

I have to go. I think the sip of water I took wasn't such a good idea. The toilet is soooo far away.

Bonehead

I thought I would be in Cambodia right now. I flew from Ha Noi to Bangkok and landed on time. Then I went to change my ticket from Bali to Hong Kong then to San Francisco. The date of my return is now February 18. Once that was settled I went to the desk check in.

The guy there told me there were no Air Asia flights flying out anytime soon and directed me to the ticketing both. The ladt boy there told me my flight was at seven that morning. Grrrr. What a waste of money. It wasn't that much because Air Asia is a no frills budget airline, but still, I should not be throwing money away like that.

After a bit of sulking I went to catch the airport bus into town. There are worse places to be stuck than Bangkok. I met a English guy named mick on the bus and we ended up getting drunk in my local bar on Koh San Rd. I still don't know the name of it. I saw Porn briefly, but she left before I came stumbling out at midnight.

I was hung over the next day. Two out of the three times I've been in Bangkok, I've been hung over the second day there.

Later that night I decided to book a plane ticket to Chiang Mai. I would've taken the train, but all the sleepers are sold out through the weekend. The woman at the travel agency suggested a bus, but it shows up at some godawful time in the morning (4am).

Now I'm in Chiang Mai with no guide book. I've lost my edge. I just got talked into taking a room for the equivalent of ten U.S. dollars. If I had walked one hundred meters down the road I would've found a room for someting closer to $4.

I will write a postcard to my friends and family in free verse

Having just reread Lonely Planet's review of Sapa, I'mbeginning to lose a bit of faith in it. I know guidebooks are not always the most accurate and I shouldtake the information inside with a grain of salt, butwhoever wrote the Sapa section is an idiot.In one sentence he/she says, "the Montagnards(mountain people)...are reaping the financial rewardsof the tourism influx." A few paragraphs later,"mostly they're very poor." So which is it?

I've had the good fortune of meeting and talking topeople from the two majority ethnic groups in theregion, the H'Mong and Dzao. All are very intelligent, and most of the ones my age have gone to school. Although the Montagnards learn their native language they also learn Vietnamese in school and use it as the common language. Most know english andfrench as well. I met a twenty seven year old woman who finished high school, rare for a mountain woman.

I fear for the heritage of these people becausetourism brings a lot of ugliness with it. Pollution aside, I hope the younger ones don't forget abouttheir traditions and customs to be a part of themodern world.

One Dzao girl I met is no longer wearing traditionalclothes, dressing in western fashion. Her friend whoI was talking to told me she wants to live outside ofthe village. I heard another jokingly say she didn'tcare if a westerner was nice or not as long as heagreed to marry her.

Today I spoke with Qui, the high school graduate. She was telling me she had a lot of "friends" who are willing to help her come to the US. They areVietnamese-Americans who may or may not have good intentions. Even if they do I warned her about how difficult life can be in the states, especially for someone who seems very innocent to me. What do I know about her innocence? She could beputting one over on me and using the same sob story onanyone willing to listen. Still, I feel like I wantto help her.

Travelling alone for eight months now I've learned tobe very wary of people, but something about being inViet Nam is dulling this abilty. I know it's because these are my people and I want to believe they are all kind and good, but they aren't.

Pale skin makes you happier, healthier, and more attractive

The Vietnamese tend to like pale skin more than dark skin. I've spent the last three days out in the sun. I'm getting Hawaii dark again. I could strive to have pale skin, but what's the fun in that.

I was in Ha Long bay the past three days. The water seems to be extremely salty. I had no problems swimming/floating on my back.

I'm back in Hanoi for another four hours, then I'm heading to the mountains for the next three days. A girl in Hue told me I looked like a person from one of the hill tribes here (probably cause of my skin tone).

One of these things is not like the other

I'm slowly getting used to being alone again and really feeling like a foreigner in a foreign country. My family in Sai Gon made it easier for me while I was there. I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but there are distinct Vietnamese accents I didn't know existed. The accent where my mom grew up sounds like Vietnamese with a southern drawl. The Vietnamese in Hue is a bitch. They accent words completly differently than what I'm used to. For instance if the sound of the word starts low pitched then goes high they startlow and go lower. This probably makes no sense so I'll move on.

I don't like the traveler hotspots in Viet Nam. The food sucks since it's catered to western tastes. I had the worst bowl of pho from a place Lonely Planet highly recommended. I should've known better than to go into a place where no Vietnamese were eating. On top of that the cyclo drivers are assholes. It seems like they're all pimping for "massage" parlors. On the flip side I'm not comfortable in completely Vietnamese areas because my Vietnamese is still not that great.

This is how things end

A few days ago I thought I had made up my mind about when or if I was returning. I was sure I would stay away and teach english or find some other way to support myself overseas. When it came time for an answer I wasn't sure and decided to give myself a few hours to think about it. After my deadline I still wasn't sure and decided this should not be a rash decision. My answer on whether or not to take the TEFL training course is 'no' for now.

My parents left the other day to return top the states. I left Sai Gon (Ho Chi Minh City) two nights ago. The train ride was supposed to take about ninteen hours. We stopped well inland because of a typhoon and waited. I didn't arrive in Hue until today at two, about forty six hours after I left Sai Gon.

My farewell to my family was bitter sweet because just before I left they pulled some wierd family shit on me. In Vietnamese culture the oldest male has a duty to stay close to (or live with) the parents and care for them. SInce I am not doing this I'm breaking my parents heart (according to my family here). They pretty much were laying all kinds of guilt trips on me just hours before I left. It left a bad taste in my mouth and was not the farewell I wanted.

In those few hours I began to understand my parents even more, because I see their attitudes and ways of dealing with things are more deep rooted in Vietnamese culture than I ever imagined. I felt like a teenager again who is a disappointment to the family for not following the path that they chose for me. As I stepped on the train I breathed a sigh of relief because I was finally away from them.

I don't know if I can face them and their disappointment again. I thought I would teach english in Vietnam, more specifically in Sai Gon, but I don't think I can live there and deal with their constant pressure to do my duty. My uncle tried to make me promise after my visa expired I would return home to my parents. The answer every time he asked was "no." Even when I called him today to let him know where I was and that I was all right he asked me again. I like him a lot, but can't give him or the family the answer they want.

Anyways, I'm away from all that now and will continue journeying.